A month ago I pursued Plan A. The plan had these goals: (1) Fatten up my bank account through trading; (2) find a Filipina senorita; (3) see said senorita in the Philippines this January; (4) return to Hawaii; sell everything and move to be with said senorita.
Because the returns from the trading have been less than spectacular, more and more Plan B seems like the only option. Plan B calls for selling as soon as possible. Seems drastic.
I don't know if I can be happy with this woman. What I do know is that I'm not happy here nor am I likely to be.
Two days ago I sent to the movies with my dentists and her friends. Jay, her sister Web, Web's husband John and their daughter Kacee. A pleasant outing. Jay bought me popcorn and soda. Web loaded me down with kakimochi crunch for the popcorn. Jay, Web and I laughed at the movie. John fell asleep. Kacee seemed bored. Afterwards we all hastily went our separate ways.
I would have liked to have lunch and talked and laughed. It's not like that. They all have lives of their own. I need to build a life for myself.. Last night (afternoon for her) Zita's sister Wea and her 4 children visited. Zita's son, Ashly was also there. Suddenly my cam was flooded with the happy faces of children, age about 4 to 7. All laughing, all mugging, all pushing to see me. Zita laughed and hugged them all. She said they were all happy to see "Daddy Wayne." I told Zita if I were there I would sit and play with the kids. It would be a life for me.
Finding God's Peace and Grace: Two days ago I read an inspirational message. The first thing you think of when you wake up is either that which gives you pain or that which gives you happiness.
Through most of my life, with very few exceptions, I've awoken thinking about that which gives me pain. If you ask me why I'm moving, then the answer is right there between those lines.
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