Shall I Sail Off Into a New Sunset? First My Old Sunset

I have a plan! Clear the decks and make an exploratory trip to the Philippines in January of next year. One of my "deck clearing" tasks is to reduce my baggage (haha .. isn't that phrase loaded with extra meaning). I'm speaking here of physical possessions. I have two big boxes of photos and slides. I want to convert all those into digital images. This means scan, scan, scan. And that is my job on this Sunday afternoon.

Next up for scanning are old slides from Pohnpei.   

I was so happy to come across the picture of Angela.  She was my first love.  I was too immature (age 23) to treat her right.

Now when see her I want to hug and kiss her and tell her I'm sorry. (And her reply) "Give me $1 for some cigarettes!"

I hope life has been kind to her.  She would be in her late 50's today (and tell her great grand kids about washing clothes in the river!)


Suddenly Sad:  Someone near-by has bought a dog.  I have never seen her but I hear her mournful cries often.  They have tired her outside the house.  She is forced to live alone without a family.  She can only cry.

We have much in common, this lonely dog and I.  I also live without family. This is the reason I have a plan.  This is the reason I wish to sail off into a new Sunset.

Now what do I do?  I search for companionship on the Christian-Filipina website.  There are scores of

women to communicate with.  I found Zita (at right) will right somewhat detailed messages.  So many of the women, because of their poor English skills, confine themselves to writing simple replies.

Zita is a hard working woman of 46.  She has raised three children and has given two the opportunity of college.  She owns her own beauty salon.  Should we meet, it's possible that we will bond.  But now I find myself frustrated.  (I only started writing to her this past Wednesday!)

I suppose I am looking for a soul-mate, some one with home I can share ideas and thoughts.  Zita cannot do this in writing.  Zita gave me her email address on Friday.  Yesterday I wrote her a thoughtful message and included to pictures  I also sent her a "heads-up" message on the Chris-Fil website.  She didn't acknowledge the Yahoo email.  But she did write back on Chris-fil giving me effusive thanks and saying how she prayed our paths would meet one day (that was an analogy I started).  So communication is rocky.

 I told her that I was not writing to anyone else (because she mentioned to me that no one else had written to her and because it can set up hurtful situations).  But this morning, wanting to find a soul mate, I responded to an inquiry by a more educated woman.

  Her name is Narea.  (I lost her picture)  She responds quickly.  But rather than writing the thoughtful email I wish to have, she reponds by giving me her Skype and Yahoo IM numbers.

  I am tempted, but I don't want to go down that route. I will be more patient with Zita.  Here is what she wrote to me this morning:

wayne i am very happy if you sending message for me...i hope you are here..and you never tired to make a writing message just for me...thank your so much wayne..and dont you worry i am here just for you wayne. even if im sometimes busy my work...but i promise you i will give you a time to online and i never stop to writing message just for you wayne..i wish that all good just for you' and me...i wish to GOD  that 2 roads have a good direction to make a happy one road...GOD GUIDING....to each other to have a gold heart .until it unite.

Yes, the English is poor, but I don't care about that.  It's really very sweet.  She wrote this on a Sunday, after attending church and then rushing home to open her shop again.  She works 7 days a week.  I have to respect that.  (and we'll soon switch to yahoo.mail regardless because I won't renew my subscriton to Chris-Phil.

Note:  How selfish it is of me .. to even consider writing to another.  Yes, Zita could be just another con artist, but I don't know that.  This is the same selfishness I exuded when I lived with Angela.  I must be different so I will find love.

(I think I will have a salad .. and then write Zita a letter I promised this morning)

(5:34 pm)  This what Ijust wrote to Zita, I  hope I didn't say too much out of fear of saying too little.

Hi Zita,

I hope today is wonderful for you and I hope you have many many customers.  You work SO hard Zita .. even on Sunday.  I hope you can take some days to rest, but it is hard if you have many expenses.  If you work to hard, you will get sick. 

You can teach me to cut hair then I can help you!! (no, just kidding.  You would lose ALL of your clients if I try to cut hair .. haha) 

Thank you for your promise to talk on-line and I would LOVE TO TALK TO YOU,  but IT'S OK ZITA IF WE DON'T.  I know YOU ARE SO BUSY  are and YOU MUST WORK SO HARD, so online must be difficult. I AM VERY HAPPY JUST TO READ YOUR EMAILS.  Don't worry about this, okay?  

I hope to come to the Philippines in January.  I still must  work hard to make this happen.  I start my work Money-Friday at 2:30 in the morning and finish at 9:30 in the morning.  I want to come in November but I don't think that will be possible.  (Haha I actually want to come tomorrow!)

You wrote you "wished all good for you and me".  I pray for that also, Zita. God Bless,

Yours,

Wayne